1. I hate myself more than anyone. I always think I have to get my act together, but I end up cowering, running away, sniveling. I want to change. I want to be a competent person.
1. People don't simply recover instantly. No matter how strong someone is, they can feel pain and sadness. But hiding from it doesn't solve anything. You must rouse your aching heart and stand back up. I'm sure Rengoku was that kind of person.